I'm kinda bored actually so I'm gunna do this. So.. if you know me since sec 1 or sec 2, you should kinda figure out that I, PerlaLuccicosa was a really tomboy. I have to admit, I was really noisy, I loved doing sports and I dress BADLY. Truthfully speaking, I had never wanted to become a tomboy or anything near there. So it was hurtful when people just told me straight in my face that I'm so boyish, I'm so not like a girl and stuff. Of course at that time I was like who the fuck cares.I didn't want to change myself just because others called me names. But it was a pretty tough time. You should know I'm not pretty like other girls in our school, and I'm not skinny like them too. To me, I'm like below average you get what I mean? My self confidence level was ROCK BOTTOM K. I didn't dare to wear anything too feminine because I was worried people judge me. Okay pictures time. These were in early sec 3 I think.
I was always like the most ugly one and most boyish one in my girl clique and I was not very happy. I was envious of other girls, and I wanted to look better. I had fun during these years though!
But you know what? As time passed by, I realized I was pulling off my personality in a wrong way. I want to be like other girls you know, I wanted to have fucking big eyes and small face and skinny body whatever the fuck that is. But of course I cannot have any of them and I'm not going to force myself to become like them right now. Want to know what changed me? You're gonna think it's a joke but it's fucking MYSPACE. Alright. And you know who was the first person who gave me confidence? Charmaine Leow. Idk. Up till now, it seems to me that we have SO MANY things that we love in common. We love things that most people don't. And then at the start of secondary 3, I slowly started to find out the different genres of music that I like from myspace,and from there, I got inspired. I don't know what got into me, but things do change. Up till now, if you were to ask me, I still love sports. I still like competing with boys and having a sense of victory whenever I win them in any activity. I still like the things that I like a few years ago. Maybe not as hardcore, but it's still there okay. So after that, I started exploring on how to make myself look better, feel better and stuff. And I started wearing contacts, I started to feel better about myself. Of course, there were criticism like DUH. But I didn't really cared at that time hahahaha. So slowly I changed..
As you can see, I started looking a bit better, and I still look kinda boyish though hahahaha but those were like the really good times, I must say. And I'm sorry that almost every picture has Char in it because we would always take pictures together. I HAD A TON OF PICTURES WITH HER. Those are some random pictures and yeah things started to get better and then came Secondary 4. I started to have my own group of friends and I love them so much.
There's another thing in my secondary school life that I did not expect AT ALL. I got myself a boyfriend. Yah friends who had known me since idk when wouldnt expect anything to happen to me too. After these years, I realized I had changed a lot. And please. I do not change for anyone alright. I change because I want to change. Not because of Cedric. Not because I have a boyfriend. I dun give a flaming fart whether I need to look girly and feminine around him or any other guys or whosoever. So lastly, this year's change. This year's pictures. Omg I'm so tired.
Yeah. I guess thats all about it. This is so tiring. God. I like my change, and I'm glad I had come this far. I'm not as scared or worried about showing who I am now because I know there is no need to hide.I may not be pretty, or skinny, but at least I'm still me! Yeah to those who teased me before, LOOK AT ME NOW BITCH. I'M GETTING PAPER. Fresher than a muthfucka. :)
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