What is life anyway?

Taking a break from my FON revision when I barely started. So lame.

Sometimes I really cannot understand myself, my indecisiveness towards my life, my future, everything. I tend to zoom out into space for a long time and just sit there, thinking about my death, about this world, about the people around me. It's like I'm asking these questions that are pretty much impossible to answer, deep and philosophical things that I myself am unable to decipher. I hate thinking, you know. Like I literally hate allowing my mind to just wander off by itself and then bringing back these questions, expecting me to provide a solution for each and every one of them. It's a very.. depressing state, I feel. It's like as if my world suddenly stopped evolving, and everything just come to a standstill. I am unable to come to an agreement with myself, and I am unable to adapt to what life is giving me. I want.it.to.go.my.way. Sometimes, you're just so cautious with whatever you do just so that you won't have any regrets in future, that you forget to have fun at the same time. It's like preparing for something ahead of you that  you can never be certain of, and for that you are sacrificing happiness that you have right now, the present. Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why I'm always desperate for company, desperate for people to talk to me, to help me snap out of this thinking misery but at the same time, I just want to be alone. It's realy miserable, really. Can anyone out there understand how I feel? Or am I writing crap again?

Here I am, asking myself the same old question. 'What is life anyway?'