Life.

MY CURRENT OBSESSION EVERY.SINGLE.FREAKING.DAY. Oh hell. I really cannot remember when was the last time I watched korean dramas and I also do not remember how I can go so crazy over one. I am probably going to get so emotionally attached to this drama I'm gonna cry after I finish this.

Common test week is here and I have completed 6 weeks of school and in one day's time my attachment and holidays will officially start! Wow wow wow. Let me just sum up these last 6 weeks of my life okay. It was SHIT, it was PLAIN TORTURE, IT WAS HELL. Basically my life never sucks so much before. Never before for my whole 18 years of living. It just gets ''BETTER'' than ever man. It was like a huge major change just suddenly happened and I was so unprepared, and then everything just started hitting me at one go. AT ONE GO.

Know how it feels like to just lie in bed and sleep away your life and pretend you never exist? Or you just hope to die in your sleep peacefully with no pain because reality is such a painful thing to bear and every morning you wake up crying, and every night you go to bed crying. And everyday you go to school like a fucking zombie, and never in your life have you ever hated school so much, never in your life have you ever hated everything so much. Never in your life have you hated so much.. just to exist. Nothing can ever go in your way ONCE without things screwing it up for you, and wait hold up okay.. YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING ALONE. Yes. All of this. Daily routine is fucked up, people are fucked up, I'm fucked up. Everything. People leave you one by one, and you just feel so alone. So many promises broken, so many misunderstandings, so many regrets, so many ugly truths, so much disappointment, so much misery.

Desperately finding a way to end your huge misery, relying on friends and family for support and encouragement, mustering up the courage to go for counseling.. I can you tell you I've never been so screwed up. Ever. Know how it feels like to see your mom crying because she saw how miserable and depressed you are? And in the end, you know you still gotta get out of bed, and go on with life, go on with your shitty routine everyday. Do not get me wrong. This is not to show how pathetic I am, but I am proud to say that I've finally been through the worst, and even though it may not be anywhere good now, at least I'm coming back stronger than before. Now I finally realized, what it truly means when people say ''what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.''

 I learnt SO MUCH from these entire 2 months of hell, that no one can help you except yourself. I learnt that being positive is such an important thing to do in life. Never let your emotions control your thoughts and actions, because that is the worst of all. Weak.I was so weak, and still am. I'm still struggling, but hey guess what? I know this will end eventually, so I'm not going to give up.

I'm thankful for all my friends who were truly there for me in every step I take. This is only the start of the tough journey, sad to say. I'm thankful for all these obstacles that I am faced with, for I wouldnt have known how strong my willpower is. I'm going to die someday, might as well die happy. But still.. I have to say this la hor.


FUCK YOU 2012.
FUCK YOU LIFE.


Okay back to my Kdramas! And books! definitely.. -.-