Sometimes the walls that I've erected around me comes crumbling down. It doesn't happen very often, in fact so rare that before I realize what's going on, there I am - naked and defenseless and utterly confused.
This feels like an omen, like a dark omnipresent pool of water. Sometimes it creeps up on you and silently flows into your body, chilling every single cell in it. You start gasping for air, with this huge desperation for survival. You'll never know when it will drain out of your body and make you feel normal again, you won't even realize when it's gone. It comes and goes as and when it wants, suddenly strangling you and choking the life out of you and before you can even die, it leaves, waiting for it's next comeback, your next torture.
And yet, I never seem to resist this cursed temptation, even when everyone tells me not to because I'm "letting you win." I guess I'm doomed to be crowned as the loser every single time and how saddening it is to know that I am actually okay with that.
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